{"id":328,"date":"2018-09-17T09:33:39","date_gmt":"2018-09-17T13:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/?p=328"},"modified":"2018-09-17T09:35:21","modified_gmt":"2018-09-17T13:35:21","slug":"this-is-a-good-computer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/this-is-a-good-computer\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;This is a Good Computer&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This is a story I wrote a while ago:<\/p>\n<p><b>This is a Good Computer: A Short story<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThis is a good computer,\u201d says the man behind the counter, pointing to a large metal box covered in buttons.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt even does calculations,\u201d he tells you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The man behind the counter presses a button on the box. The box wheezes, and spits out some numbers. The man proceeds to shove the numbers in your face. You nod approvingly, just to be polite. You do not want the computer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cLook. Watch this,\u201d the man says. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He presses another button. The box wheezes again, but this time, it beeps and spits out a grainy picture of a dog, which the man also shoves in your face. You are beginning \u00a0to hate the man and the computer more and more. You look around, but nobody else is in the shop.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI really must go,\u201d you tell the man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the man does not care. He pushes you towards another box and starts rapidly pushing buttons. The box beeps and wheezes and hums and spits out more numbers. You watch this moron exhaust the poor machine as a vendor gives ice cream to children. You want ice cream. You want escape.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Silently, you run as fast as you have ever run in your life, towards the door. And yet, as you reach for the handle, the man\u2019s hand grasps it before you can. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNot so fast,\u201d the man says.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You tell him something about a family emergency, but the man won\u2019t buy it. He sees right through your lies. As the man gestures you towards another box, you dash towards the door again. This time, you are successful. You turn to face the shop, and there he is, glaring at you, his nose pressed up against the glass. You scream. You get in your car and step on the gas, forgetting about the ice cream. Relaxed, you look in the mirror. He is sitting in the backseat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOh god,\u201d you think.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The car swerves as you try to push him out. Cars honk and crash into each other as you attempt to get rid of this demon of a salesman. Finally, you manage to push him out of the car. You watch as he is run over. The man\u2019s lifeless body tumbles into a ditch. You breathe a sigh of relief and drive home. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your family asks how shopping went, and you say it went well. You keep living your life. You never speak of what happened, but sometimes, on the side of the road, out of the corner of your eye, you see him. He is standing, his uniform covered in tire marks and bloodstains, smiling at you. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is a story I wrote a while ago: This is a Good Computer: A Short story \u201cThis is a&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pahjIg-5i","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":330,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions\/330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.seven-oaks.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}